You can tell I’m procrastinating by how
many posts I’m putting up. Two in 2 days! Whew. The important thing that is due
is my internship report, by the way. I worked on it all week, and I think it’s
completely fine but it seems everyone is adding all sorts of things to theirs.
I’m pretty in confident in my writing because I mean, do you know even know who
I am? Have you seen my blog? Yeesh. Damn good writer over here, baby!
Tomorrow is the last day of the internship.
This means saying goodbyes. I don’t want to, ugh. I made some friends and I’ve
actually talked to a few people and having to say bye just makes me
uncomfortable. Like, what do you do?
I also happen to have organized a whole
pizza party for work. I’m not going to call myself a doormat for doing all the
work. I mean, I didn’t even need any of this. I don’t even know why I decided
to go through with the whole thing. I literally walked miles to and from the
restaurant and went around collecting what everyone was pitching in.
Anyway, this trip made me realize I’d been
spending a whole load of money on milkshakes from Café Javas all year yet Food
Hub (where we got the pizza from) has all sorts of desserts for half the price!
I tried out a froyo with oreo on it and LOVED it. For extra cheap. Somebody hold
me. I might have found my new obsession. Someone’s gonna have to tell that to my
diet for me, though.
One other observation of the day is that lately
I don’t have anger management issues. I can clearly remember exactly 3 times I
just… let it go. Why would I give someone power over my emotions? I also realized
that I love anger. I love getting angry. It gives me this rush that I love. It
makes me feel powerful.
At the same time, I feel that my anger is
justified. I feel like if I don’t get angry, people won’t take me seriously. If
you don’t know you did something that wronged me, you’re going to keep doing it.
You’re going to take me for granted.
If I don’t express my anger, I’m going to
be leaving a problem-free life. If I do, I get labelled. I am angry. I want to
not be. I want to change. Who am I changing for? Who am I living for? Don’t I get
to do anything for myself?
What happened to the times I was 13 and
changed myself according to what was cool? When did I start complying? When did
being weak become my thing? When did I start caring about other people? What’s
the real me?
Okay, chill out, guys. I know who I am. I
am this.
Until next time,
Asi.
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