I’m pretty sure I just read about this condition today in pinterest, among others: When you get such a powerful revelation/ emotional transcendence but it keeps slipping away from your memory/ conscience.
These last 2 days have been chock-full of activities, deadline management and basically GETTING THINGS DONE. I’ve literally been sitting on my rear end for nigh on a year with zero academic pressure, NO expectations of work and NO hard working.  But alas, I set for myself a MAJOR deadline for a project from school. If you read my last post you’d know that I set it for 9 days prior to the actual deadline. Mostly because I had to get it printed and only today was the ideal day to go to the (for lack of a better word) printing district. Basically a place where printing is relatively cheaper.
It’s roughly near my uni, so I decided to walk all the way. Mind, my father isn’t big on me walking from uni to my design school, which is actually right next to the printing district. I told my dad to send his car for me at 5:00 to uni so I could get things done and get back.

I started my journey at a casual pace, first heading over to get a new phone sim card because I’ve been DYING with crap signal since forever. Then I went to the printing place and went to the first shop I saw. So this guy says I did my work all wrong and I should have just brought him the original Adobe Indesign file. I’m not one to leave things half way; if I get there—I do exactly what I came to do. Well, most times, anyway. I went to the next shop and this other woman hands me over to some OTHER guy who has me sit in some dingy old stool. So I wait. And wait. At this point I’m wondering whether I should just up and leave; maybe contact my teacher or ask on the whatsapp group. But I decide to hang around a bit, and if he says he can’t do it, I leave.

He actually got everything right and sent me to some other guy to get the white edges trimmed off. I’m telling you this machine is a BEAST. It’s got some kind of laser technology or the other and holds down the book and a blade comes and snips the extra edges CLEAN off. I swear I flinched every time that unforgiving blade came down.

After I get the 2 copies of my magazine (starring Thorin Oakenshield on the cover) I decide to go a bit overboard with my freedom and go to a mall. Just to window shop is all. I bought nothing, but really started to see the value of money. By this time I was starving, thirsty and tired. I walked two steps past a café and back tracked and entered and ordered food. Some kind of Italian chicken fusila or the other. I waited for quite a while and ate my still hot pasta. The pasta was meh but the chicken was positively divine. My pasta started going cold and my head started aching I think because I didn’t really like it. I gave up and waited for some ice cream. By this time I was realizing that may be the food was really EXPENSIVE and not really worth it.


I know this entire post doesn’t link in any way to the title, but like I said in the beginning—this whole experience is mostly slipping from my memory. I want to record it down here; I wouldn’t want my life to be any other way than it is right now (without the whole running up and down, eating expensive food, going shopping etc)

I just want to tell myself that I’M FINE HOW I AM. I don’t want to be any one else. TBH I’m really tired from sleeping at 1:00 am yesterday night and I can’t remember WHY I felt this way suddenly. May be it was the pasta. Or maybe it was a real resounding emotional transcendence.
I was reading a caption by @iisuperwomanii today and she was saying that you’ve gotta get out there in the world; you can’t improve as a person if you don’t see who you are in different situations. And I have. I really have. I went out today. A field day in my life if you ask me. And I choose my life. My normal life. Who I am. I choose to be ME. I don’t want to change myself—to be anyone else. I choose to find myself; accept myself and love myself.

• Start IMMEDIATELY a project is handed out.

• Bite-size pieces

• When it’s too late though…

Today's post is actually a mishmash between uni lectures and a new thesis, 'We can't all be the same.'


I had my official first lecture today, and I must say, I really did enjoy it. Call me a nerd, but I LOVED hearing about Finance and Accounting again. I'm actually doing Bachelor of Computer Science, but today's class that was about Financial Accounting really had me thinking whether I should have done something to do with Economincs which I happened to enjoy as well in my A- Levels.

After this class, I had no lecture, and I spent this free period watching Fear Factor. LOL, you do NOT want to hear WHAT they had the participants eating. Although I did feel hungry while watching it. What? It's a natural human reaction. *barfs*

So after lunch I had a lecture on 'Communication Skills' and they had us walk up and say our names and stuff; basically introducing ourselves and I started getting fidgety and cold because basically people anxiety. When it was my turn to go on I actually ended up revealing that I had a blog (!!!) BUT I refused to give the URL. Trust me, fam- It's a spectacular mistake to give away your social media or anything to school peeps because you won't be able to be yourself anymore. I bet I'd delete this blog if anyone ever found out. The pressure of being 'enough' in the eyes of people who know you is crazy. That's the thing about the internet though; no one knows you and everything's GC. They just read your stuff and move on.

What I actually mean to say is that- we can't ALL be cool and awesome. You have to accept the fact that YOU AREN'T THE COOLEST OUT THERE. THERE ARE PEOPLE COOLER THAN YOU. And that's FINE. I said this the last time, and I'll say it again, we are DIVERSE. You can't BE like those 'cool' people. Well, not exactly like them anyway. We are made to be diverse; different. The world would actually be a horrible place if everyone was alike. Cue mindless zombie humans who ALL look the SAME.

You do you, boo. You have your OWN awesome perks about being you. You have your own COOL-ness. Everyone is equal at some point, but we can't ALL be the same. I know sometimes you (I- who am I kidding) feel THE GREEN CLAWS OF JEALOUSY whenever we see someone with something we think is cool, I guess? The next time you feel that way, just know- your life is better in some aspects compared to theirs. PLUS- what you see on social media like instagram is just the HIGHLIGHT rim of people's lives. They probably have messy rooms at the back of their pictures or something more unsightly. Although people be posting their not-so-shiny BTS pics on instagram stories these days, doe.

One other thing about humans is that they can NEVER be satisfied with what they have. Imagine someone with an ENTIRE wardrobe of clothes. Like a new outfit for every day of the YEAR. They'd look at the next girl and wish they had HER clothes. Trust me, avocadolings.

I hope I didn't make you think you were wholly worthless; no, in fact you are NOT. You are cooler than the 'coolio' peeps in some ways. PS. BEING COOL IS JUST A STANDARD YOU SET FOR YOUR SELF. You actually don't NEED to consciously be cooler than other people. Unless they treat you with injustice. Then it's time to not smooth down your ruffled feathers, but to charge into BATTLE because no one insults my coconut scrapings and gets away with it!

That's all for today, loyal followers. I pree you, preeing me. You're awesome and don't forget that EVAR!