I’m pretty sure I just read about this condition today in pinterest, among others: When you get such a powerful revelation/ emotional transcendence but it keeps slipping away from your memory/ conscience.
These last 2 days have been chock-full of activities, deadline management and basically GETTING THINGS DONE. I’ve literally been sitting on my rear end for nigh on a year with zero academic pressure, NO expectations of work and NO hard working.  But alas, I set for myself a MAJOR deadline for a project from school. If you read my last post you’d know that I set it for 9 days prior to the actual deadline. Mostly because I had to get it printed and only today was the ideal day to go to the (for lack of a better word) printing district. Basically a place where printing is relatively cheaper.
It’s roughly near my uni, so I decided to walk all the way. Mind, my father isn’t big on me walking from uni to my design school, which is actually right next to the printing district. I told my dad to send his car for me at 5:00 to uni so I could get things done and get back.

I started my journey at a casual pace, first heading over to get a new phone sim card because I’ve been DYING with crap signal since forever. Then I went to the printing place and went to the first shop I saw. So this guy says I did my work all wrong and I should have just brought him the original Adobe Indesign file. I’m not one to leave things half way; if I get there—I do exactly what I came to do. Well, most times, anyway. I went to the next shop and this other woman hands me over to some OTHER guy who has me sit in some dingy old stool. So I wait. And wait. At this point I’m wondering whether I should just up and leave; maybe contact my teacher or ask on the whatsapp group. But I decide to hang around a bit, and if he says he can’t do it, I leave.

He actually got everything right and sent me to some other guy to get the white edges trimmed off. I’m telling you this machine is a BEAST. It’s got some kind of laser technology or the other and holds down the book and a blade comes and snips the extra edges CLEAN off. I swear I flinched every time that unforgiving blade came down.

After I get the 2 copies of my magazine (starring Thorin Oakenshield on the cover) I decide to go a bit overboard with my freedom and go to a mall. Just to window shop is all. I bought nothing, but really started to see the value of money. By this time I was starving, thirsty and tired. I walked two steps past a café and back tracked and entered and ordered food. Some kind of Italian chicken fusila or the other. I waited for quite a while and ate my still hot pasta. The pasta was meh but the chicken was positively divine. My pasta started going cold and my head started aching I think because I didn’t really like it. I gave up and waited for some ice cream. By this time I was realizing that may be the food was really EXPENSIVE and not really worth it.


I know this entire post doesn’t link in any way to the title, but like I said in the beginning—this whole experience is mostly slipping from my memory. I want to record it down here; I wouldn’t want my life to be any other way than it is right now (without the whole running up and down, eating expensive food, going shopping etc)

I just want to tell myself that I’M FINE HOW I AM. I don’t want to be any one else. TBH I’m really tired from sleeping at 1:00 am yesterday night and I can’t remember WHY I felt this way suddenly. May be it was the pasta. Or maybe it was a real resounding emotional transcendence.
I was reading a caption by @iisuperwomanii today and she was saying that you’ve gotta get out there in the world; you can’t improve as a person if you don’t see who you are in different situations. And I have. I really have. I went out today. A field day in my life if you ask me. And I choose my life. My normal life. Who I am. I choose to be ME. I don’t want to change myself—to be anyone else. I choose to find myself; accept myself and love myself.