Do we really have to believe what people tell us???


When I was 6, I had a teacher called Mrs. Agnes. She said that the devil lives in water. That included wash basin and sink drains (or any other drains). She definitely said something like that. For the longest time ever, I believed her. I’m actually embarrassed by how long I believed her for.

I saw evil in water swirling into a drain. This whole thing is comical because she was a Christian and I’m Muslim, and our beliefs vary in a lot of ways, one of which is the fact that (I’m pretty sure) in Islam the devil doesn’t hang out in the dark pipes that lead to hell (the sewer, but in this case we can say hell.)

I didn’t have to believe her. I shouldn’t have. Because A) Our religions were different, B) She probably didn’t know what she was talking about, and C) I probably didn’t hear her right.

I believe a lot of things people tell me. Some people actually tell me they like messing with me (telling me wrong information with a dead straight face) and I actually believe them. I came across the word ‘impressionable’ (I didn’t exactly stumble upon it in my nightly reading—one of my friends told me to ‘stop being so damn impressionable’) and when I realized I actually was so damn impressionable, I set out to try to not be so damn impressionable.

I get really influenced by things. I can easily get swayed with new beliefs. Recently I self-diagnosed myself with a mental disorder. That was terrible. But it really made sense in a lot of ways. Or was I just being impressionable?

I’ve probably painted this picture of me in your head: me, chewing at my nails, eyebrows scrunched together in apprehension, and probably wearing an over-sized cable-knit sweater.

The thing is, lately I haven’t been like that. I’ve been being strong. I don’t easily believe what people say. Especially what they say about me. (Most of my social interactions occur at school and when I say ‘people,’ or ‘they,’ I mean people from school.) How, pray tell, does someone know me better than I know myself? What is even more laughable is the fact that I’m a whole other person at school. I’m definitely always wearing a mask, an alternate persona, because I’m not comfortable at school. There are so many people and germs coexisting freely for me to pretend I’m at home.

Speaking of school, in my last post I wrote up a list of college resolutions and I’m sad to say that I broke all of them. I followed through with exactly none of them. Zilch. Nada. Somehow, when the time came, everything was so different. I could sit at home mulling over how I was going to react in a certain situation, and yet when it actually happened, everything was totally different. Like how I could never say no to chips. At all.

This taught me a big lesson: Worry about something when you actually get there. Stop scripting your act like a freaking YouTuber. It’s probably going to be entirely different from what you imagined. You’re not taking into consideration a multitude of external factors, including the fact that you have NO IDEA what another person is thinking at that moment. It’s probably the exact opposite of what you think they’re thinking.

In other news, do I REALLY care what people think of me? You can never know if someone judged you wrong. Besides, even if they did, they missed out on the chance of getting to know an amazing individual (moi.) It doesn’t really matter what strangers think of you, because in the end, all that matters is that there are people that accept you for who you are. And those are the only people that matter.

I’ll be honest. Lately I’ve been thinking of how much of a wholesome person I am. You’ll be lucky to meet someone else like me. I’m pretty awesome. In a non-conventional sort of way. And I like that. I have a lot of flaws, too, and I accept that. A lot of the times I’m even proud of my flaws (no, I’m not but we can pretend).

Anyway. I probably won’t get anything up on this here blog for a while so I’m going to turn this post into a life update post. So… yeah. I started uni. It’s being okay, I guess. I have some classes I really like. Like how to use java and stuff. I love that I’m doing Computer Science, guys. It’s so interesting and fun.

Life at home is great too. Hashtag Gratitude. We had around 5 pizzas this week (the stats are fooling you, it was just 2 days, and 2 tiny free pizzas). Is it odd that pizzas make my life so much better? LOL what am I saying. There must have been a glitch in the running somewhere in my brain. (NOT. Brain, sweetie, you’re amazing.)

In other news, my sister refused to give me some of her pasta and suddenly I had bruises on my knuckles (I did NOT punch the wall.) I also threw my notebook in rage and ruined it. The last remaining four pages got ripped off. Not that I’m complaining though, I was getting tired of writing in that notebook. It’s just that I haven’t lost control of my temper like that IN A WHILE. Wow. I didn’t see red, people. I saw white-hot fury. I had to lie on my bed with my face on my pillow to cool off. Someone was gone die, friends.

Anyway, that’s it for this instalment in the memoirs of asi (that’s me!) I’ll see you next time with another episode in the crazy (lol) life of Asi.

(PS: My life is not crazy)
BYYYYYYYE!!!!



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