Hello, there!
I’m fine. Yes, I know you didn’t ask. But I really am. I think.

Poetry.

I got into poetry. Reading it as well as writing my own lil pieces. I’m writing a sort of a memoir. I don’t know if it will ever be published, but it’s expected to be 200 pages long. That won’t be hard considering all these modern poems I’m reading is just basically one line a page. I mean, these same “modern poems”, as I’m calling them, are basically tiny short snippets of life. And not like, rhyme-y haikus or whatever. That makes it so much easier. My poems are dark too. A bit too dark. I think I’m in a dark place right now, so.

Walking

I’ve taken up walking recently. This is so I can lose a few inches off so I can get smaller jeans, or like, jeans that actually fit. Basically, I just walk up and down my veranda, and if any of the neighbors gets out, I just dash back inside. The first two times I went walking, it was okay. Fresh, new and exciting. I don’t want to admit that now I feel iffy to do it because people just keep popping out at random times. I just don’t want them to see me, you know? But it’s fun because I’m always listening to an audiobook. I need to keep this up. Today I tried reading up some stuff about conquering social anxiety but I haven’t yet found anything that I connect to. Also, at the moment my calf muscles are burning like a cut. You know when you cut yourself and it’s burning and your eye keeps twitching? My mother tongue has a better word for this burning sensation. I don’t want to call my mother tongue my first language because it’s not. I speak English best. But yeah, okay.

Photo journal

I started up this new project where, basically, I’m pasting all the things that seemed cool to me throughout my internet browsing sessions (which is the whole time). I’m doing this on Photoshop so I can include pictures, screenshots, and personalize it with my own cool fonts and graphics. The first one I did was pretty neat, but my recent ones have a lot of gaps because I couldn’t fill them in. Also, I don’t want to admit it, but it’s kind of annoying having to paste everything onto my photo journal (that’s what I’m calling it), and at the same time writing it into my notebook. Because I do that; writing inspirational/motivational things in my notebook. Speaking of, I bought a really fancy, nice notebook that I tried to start using as a planner but stopped after 3 days?? It’s like I didn’t even do the stuff I meticulously wrote down. But yeah, whatever, I’m gonna do what I can, because whatever, YOLO, you know? I’m going to leave gaps and stuff, because I don’t care about outsider opinion.

Exams

I have exams next week, and this semester has been so lazy in terms of studying. I just didn’t study as much as I did last semester. I know I’m going to be above average, if not just average, so I’m not really worried about anything.

Roots

This December, I’m going to go visit my roots. I’ve always been uncomfortable mentioning my birth place, or where I live online, but who cares? You’re just a bunch of strangers on the internet. It’s not like I’m posting my actual location and you’re going to come a-knocking. Basically, I’m going to visit my country. Where I was born. And don’t normally care for.  But I feel like I need it. For my soul. I want to get away for a bit, and this feels perfect. I know I probably won’t feel the same one week into the stay. But I’ve mentioning to my sister how I need a break from life lately. I want to document my life from when I’m there, but I also want to document my last days here before I leave. So far, I have done neither.

When I say no, I feel guilty.