Hiya, guys!
It’s Asi again!
Wow. It’s
November already! Where do I even begin? Maybe how I’ve been having the worst
breakdowns of my life? Crying under my shades? Or maybe the good stuff—like how
I started listening to audiobooks. Or how I’ve been makeup-free for about 2
weeks.
I’ve been
extremely busy with school, and yet somehow I can’t tell you I’ve been entirely
up to date with my assignments and tests. I’ve been very behind, in fact. I
barely updated any of my 2 blogs (the other is my writing blog.) I’ve been
writing small snippets of my life on there. I want to write more. I have a
fiction piece on hold. It’s been on hold for a few weeks now.
I’ve been
reading nonfiction. And fiction, too, but a lot more nonfiction than I usually
do. I also got into audio books, and I’m having so much fun. There’s so much to
learn about yourself, isn’t there? Finding new things in life to love.
I’ve been writing
more. Even if it’s just two sentences of my thoughts. Even if I don’t publish
it anywhere. I feel like I’m going somewhere. I feel like all this reading, and
searching—the quest for knowledge is making me such an amazing person. Even though
I want to be someone else sometimes. Yesterday, I went lurking on Instagram and
got into such a trash mood.
I didn’t
want to feel bad. I don’t want to feel bad anymore. So, I came up with this
tiny verse: “I don’t want to die. I want to block out the bad parts and live
the good times. I got this.”
It’s turning
out good so far.
Also, isn’t
it crazy how poems can really gut you with how much they get your feelings spot
on? Like, mate, you really just said what I was feeling. Spot on, you even did a
better job than my brain of interpreting it. Like, you even made things
clearer. You fixed it, even.
I have my
semester finals coming up in a week, and I have to start getting it together. I’m
really positive about them. We in this bih.
I’m
reading/listening to this audiobook called Solo by Kwame Alexander, and even
though I’m not sure of the plot, it’s written in ‘verse’, and it’s cool to
learn about all these ways of writing. Really cool. I love the poetry-like
format of Kwame’s. It’s dope.
I feel like
I’m getting somewhere, guys. I feel like I’m becoming a better person. I’m
really going somewhere.
Also, I'm experimenting with this new way of thinking. I'm embarking on a quest to stop being sad/ stop feeling sad, or sorry for myself, or like, sort of, hating myself? I have a whole life ahead of me, a canvas--might as well splash paints all over.
Asi, over and out.
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