You can tell I’m procrastinating by how many posts I’m putting up. Two in 2 days! Whew. The important thing that is due is my internship report, by the way. I worked on it all week, and I think it’s completely fine but it seems everyone is adding all sorts of things to theirs. I’m pretty in confident in my writing because I mean, do you know even know who I am? Have you seen my blog? Yeesh. Damn good writer over here, baby!

Tomorrow is the last day of the internship. This means saying goodbyes. I don’t want to, ugh. I made some friends and I’ve actually talked to a few people and having to say bye just makes me uncomfortable. Like, what do you do?

I also happen to have organized a whole pizza party for work. I’m not going to call myself a doormat for doing all the work. I mean, I didn’t even need any of this. I don’t even know why I decided to go through with the whole thing. I literally walked miles to and from the restaurant and went around collecting what everyone was pitching in.

Anyway, this trip made me realize I’d been spending a whole load of money on milkshakes from Café Javas all year yet Food Hub (where we got the pizza from) has all sorts of desserts for half the price! I tried out a froyo with oreo on it and LOVED it. For extra cheap. Somebody hold me. I might have found my new obsession. Someone’s gonna have to tell that to my diet for me, though.

One other observation of the day is that lately I don’t have anger management issues. I can clearly remember exactly 3 times I just… let it go. Why would I give someone power over my emotions? I also realized that I love anger. I love getting angry. It gives me this rush that I love. It makes me feel powerful.

At the same time, I feel that my anger is justified. I feel like if I don’t get angry, people won’t take me seriously. If you don’t know you did something that wronged me, you’re going to keep doing it. You’re going to take me for granted.

If I don’t express my anger, I’m going to be leaving a problem-free life. If I do, I get labelled. I am angry. I want to not be. I want to change. Who am I changing for? Who am I living for? Don’t I get to do anything for myself?

What happened to the times I was 13 and changed myself according to what was cool? When did I start complying? When did being weak become my thing? When did I start caring about other people? What’s the real me?

Okay, chill out, guys. I know who I am. I am this.

Until next time,

Asi.

So, my two month-long internship is finally coming to an end… in two days. Boy, has it been a ride! From absolute garbage trash to, well… to bearable. It started okay, what with being crammed into a barely ventilated room with 200 people. From there I got into a car crash. Good times. I mean, what’s there not to like?

I can’t lie though; it’s been good reaping all these experiences. I got more than I expected. I interned in 2 branches of the company—one for each month (minus the time I spent at home with a banged up chin). I gained a whole load of knowledge on various things and I’ve added these to my internship report. And anyway, you probably don’t want to know how I created a virtual machine that broke into the Chinese government. NOT. Lol. Only one part is true.

So basically I want to talk about how it took me 2 months to adjust to the whole routine of internship. I really resisted and battled and hated internship with my LIFE. Only some things made it bearable. If I’d just accepted the way of things sooner (being stuck doing nothing, twiddling my thumbs, picking my nails), I’d probably have been better off.

Routines are basically how we live our lives. By default. Or not. If you’re definitely going to be spending a lot of time in some place (like I was), you should probably suck it up and deal with it. Seriously. I’m thinking back and realizing I probably came off as a petulant, stuck up kid. I just wasn’t ready to accept the circumstances and live with it.

I know I’m saying all this, but I wouldn’t go back and change a thing I did, lol. I had a balanced time there. Some moments were really good. Especially the time that I completely gave up and left the work place to have a moment of solitude at school. I’m kidding. There were way better times.

If you’re doing something in a work place for the first time, chances are you’re going to be doing it multiple times again. What’s there to fear anyway? I’m not a bad student, and neither would I actively be a horrible employee. Besides, we learn from our mistakes.

It’s probably a short, incoherent post but you gotta excuse me—it’s been a while and I’m still tired from all this hard work I’m doing lately. The money, though! It’s coming in the negatives, lol. I’m not getting paid. That reminds me, I almost got a web design gig today! I don’t know if the guy will return to discuss some more but he offered to pay me! And like the clueless turnip I am, I didn’t know the rate of these things. I asked him how much he’d give me because I couldn’t think of anything. Turns out you can charge 5000$ for this kind of thing. Well, I’ll see you all in Georgia cuz I might soon be off vacationing!

JULY 2018 UPDATE/ WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I MISSED YOU??

It’s been a long while, I know. And hey, you missed me? Nawwww. I’ve written a bunch of posts (okay, maybe just two… or one) but I never got around to posting. Mostly because my computer has been super slow for a long while! Yesterday I finally deleted a guest account that was most likely the cause of all the frustration. I hope. Because after I deleted the guest account, everything was so much faster. It might be a mind thing, but hey—I’m not complaining.

Guess who’s working at the moment?! ME! Okay, maybe I’m not working. I’m doing an internship. Which doesn’t pay. But, you know… it’s worth something. Like, experience or something. I guess. I’m just getting a sort of training in networking and stuff. When we were being taught something I’m actually interested in, which is web design, some granpa had me typing out stuff from a book… which was printed…

OH MY GOD. Did I mention I was in a car crash? On June 5^th. A Tuesday. On the way to work. I got a swollen bruised chin and sat on the side of the road in shock for the most part. That was right after I got out of the car and ran away fearing an explosion! BAHAHA. I even left my shoe in the car. I was not driving. I don’t know how to drive. And this crash? Set back my chances for learning by 120%. Whatever. A month later and I still have a pea sized swelling in my chin.

What can I say, guys? It’s been a crazy few months. Life’s chill now, but the beginning of 2018 was tough for me. I guess you can say that’s why I didn’t blog. But my birthday in March was great! And life got better and better as the months went by. Mostly.

Last Friday I had some beautiful moments and the sun was beautiful and the grass was green. I feel like life is beautiful. I’m grateful. It’s only 300 words, but I’ve decided I’m going to be typing smaller posts. Nothing too taxing. So, see you real soon!